Burnout, ADHD & Hair Loss: What It Actually Feels Like (And Why It's Okay to Cry)

I almost didn't write this.

I started it three times and deleted it. Because who wants to admit that this week they cried instead of showering, couldn't brush their teeth without it feeling like climbing a mountain, and stared blankly at their laptop for two hours getting absolutely nothing done - while a growing to-do list silently judged them from the corner of the screen?

But then I thought: if I'm feeling this way, I can almost guarantee you are too.

So here it is. Raw, real, and written between the good moments and the hard ones - from my desk to yours.

This Week and Month has been a Lot

Let me not sugarcoat it.

In May every single thing has felt like climbing a mountain and this week hit me sideways. The overwhelm crept in slowly, the way it always does - a few too many tasks, a few too many late, distrubed nights, a few too many coffees replacing actual meals (yes, I know - four coffees and zero food is not a food group, but for a woman with ADHD, forgetting to eat isn't laziness, it's literally how our brains are wired). And then suddenly I wasn't just tired. I was done. Emotionally flatlined. Crying at things that normally wouldn't register (like bumping my leg into the sofa). Unable to regulate, unable to push through, unable to even decide what to do first - so I did nothing, and then felt awful about doing nothing, and then spiralled about feeling awful, and round and round we go.

The clinical term is ADHD burnout, burnout can also happen to Neurotypicals too. The human term is: I hit a wall.

And here's the thing about walls - sometimes you don't get to choose when they show up.

What Burnout Actually Feels Like (In Case You've Been There Too)

It's not just being tired. That's what people don't understand when you try to explain it. Tired is fixable with sleep. This is different.

This is:

• Waking up exhausted even after sleeping

• Simple tasks - showering, brushing your teeth - feeling genuinely impossible so you skip them, then beat yourself up 

• Crying and not totally knowing why (a message, a phonecall or simply bumping your leg on the side of the sofa)

• Feeling like you're not good enough, not doing enough, failing at everything, even when the rational part of you knows that isn't true (April was a record month for us at Kiri10, yet here I am again feeling like I'm not doing enough)

• Staring at a screen, completely unable to start even the smallest thing

• Emotional dysregulation - that feeling where your reactions are three sizes too big for the situation, or where you just go numb and shut down unable to even speak

For women with ADHD and AuDHD (Autism and ADHD combined, myself) specifically, this tends to build quietly over weeks of over-masking, over-performing, and carrying more than a brain wired the way ours is can actually sustain. We push and push and push until the system crashes. It's not weakness. It's neurology.

And it's incredibly, painfully common - even if no one's talking about it.

What I Actually Did (The Honest Version)

I'm not going to give you a perfectly curated wellness list here. These are the real things I did, in the messy order I did them.

I reached out. I texted my partner. I messaged a business coach and friend who also navigates ADHD and the chaos of building something from scratch. We've decided to be each other's support system - the person you can call in the spiral, the one who gets it without you having to explain the whole history. There is something quietly revolutionary about having even one person who says I know exactly what you mean and means it.

I researched and spoke to a Naturopath. I've decided to move forward with someone who specialises in ADHD, Autism, and women's health. My intro session is early June and it can't come quick enough, but already feeling like I have someone in my corner who understands the specific way this shows up in a female body - gut, hormonally, neurologically, all of it.

I cut the caffeine. Slowly. Not dramatically - but four coffees and nothing else is a recipe for cortisol chaos, and I know it. I started actually eating. It doesn't need to be perfect it just needs to be food - scrambled eggs and cherry toms in the morning, tuna mayo sandwich in dark rye (white bread can cause further crashes), today I ate a sausage roll for breakfast.

I dropped the non-essentials for the week. Completely. Not permanently - just for right now. Because staring blankly at a screen beating yourself up about how much you have to do is not the same as doing it. It's actually worse. Giving myself permission to step back from everything except the absolute necessities was the kindest and most productive thing I could have done. Writing and sending this blog felt good because even if it supports just one person who feels the same way and makes them feel seen and not alone then brilliant.

I walked my dog. Every day, even if it was just 20mins. In the actual outdoors. This sounds small and it is genuinely one of the most powerful things for me. Nature resets something in the nervous system that a screen simply cannot. Plus even if it's just a small one it's better for the pup then nothing at all. Because I was crying on the couch unable to walk her due to fatigue, but then feeling guilty for not walking her - hello irony .

And I cried. A lot. Which is fine. Tears are not failure. They're just your body releasing what your mind has been holding. I've been eyeing up a smash room in Christchurch and honestly think I may go do it, I can tell my body is holding onto everything and I need to release it - in a healthy way.

What I'm Building Back To (One Small Thing at a Time)

I've got a long weekend in Auckland coming up with my partner. That is my reset. No laptop, no task lists, just time to be a human being instead of a human doing.

And then next week? One task per day. One small, manageable, achievable thing. Not the whole mountain - just one step.

Because here's what I've learned from building Kiri10, and from supporting thousands of women through their own hard seasons: progress is not linear. You don't go from rock bottom to your best self in one week. You build, slowly, from the ground up. You lay foundations before you see results. The same way keratin supports your follicles for months before you ever see a single baby hair in the mirror - healing happens under the surface first.

The external results come later. The inside work comes first.

If You're In the Spiral Right Now

Here's what I want you to know:

You are not failing at life. You are a human being under pressure, doing the best you can with the wiring you have, in a world that was not designed for how your brain works.

The fact that you're still showing up - even imperfectly, even through tears, even in survival mode - is not nothing. It's actually everything.

A few things that have genuinely helped me this week, in case they help you too:

• One task per day. Not a list. Not a plan. Just one thing. Complete it. That's enough.

• Eat something. Set an alarm. Put a snack where you can see it. Your brain needs fuel to regulate, and you cannot pour from an empty cup - or an empty stomach.

• Move your body outside. Even ten minutes. Even just sitting on the grass with your face in the sun. It does something.

• Tell one person the truth. Not a curated version. The real one. The "I'm not okay right now" version. Connection is medicine.

• Talk to someone who understands your brain. If you haven't explored ADHD or neurodivergence as part of your story, it might be worth a conversation with a GP or naturopath who specialises in women's health.

• Give yourself the weekend. Rest is not wasted time. Rest is the work.

And Your Hair? Your Body Is Listening to All of This

If you've been here a while, you'll know that stress and hair are deeply connected. Chronic stress elevates cortisol, which directly disrupts the hair growth cycle - pushing follicles out of growth phase prematurely and triggering that wave of shedding that can show up weeks or even months after a stressful period.

This is not vanity. This is biology.

When your body is in survival mode - not eating properly, not sleeping, running on cortisol and caffeine - your hair is one of the first places it shows up, because hair growth is not considered essential to survival. Your body prioritises your heart, your lungs, your organs. Your follicles wait.

Supporting your body from the inside - real food, real rest, and yes, our Functional Keratin™ - is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself right now. Not as a fix. Not as a miracle. Just as consistent, gentle, inside-out support while you do the harder work of healing.

You're Not Alone in This

I started Kiri10 because I was a woman in a hard season who couldn't find what she needed. I built it for women who are going through hard seasons of their own - postpartum, perimenopause, stress, burnout, grief, the lot.

I never intended for this brand to be just about hair. It's about women taking care of themselves. Wholly, honestly, kindly.

And sometimes that means writing a blog post between the tears to say: I see you. I am you. You're not alone, and this is not permanent.

Take the weekend. Eat the thing. Walk the dog. Call the friend.

And then, when you're ready, we'll build back together - one small step at a time. 🤍

With love, empathy and a lot of emotional honesty,

Natalie
Founder, Kiri10

📎 A note: If you're struggling with overwhelm, burnout, or mental health right now, please reach out to someone you trust. In New Zealand, you can also contact Lifeline on 0800 543 354 (available 24/7) or visit mentalhealth.org.nz for support.